Friday, June 13, 2014

She Wants To Marry A Ghost

Besides tending my herb garden and hunting for new herbs in the jungle now days, I occasionally receive queer requests around the clock even though I have sworn that I only keep magic to myself. But it is at times difficult to refuse a visitor, especially those people who have travelled a long distance to come to my place.


Fiona is a local artist occasionally makes her appearance in TV programs. People who follow local Chinese soap opera will recognize her. I will let you do the detective job as to her real identity.


It was a Sunday morning that I received a call from Fiona and the first thing she said was:


“Mr. Liew, I want to get married; could you be my ‘matchmaker’ please?”


“Why it’s me may I ask? You have better source I am sure.” I replied a little agitated as I thought it was some kind of prank.


“I’m Fiona and your friend, Lee asked me to contact you… May we talk face to face as it is a long story? I am downstairs.”


“Okay. At least let I put on my pants first unless you want to marry me...”


After 20 minutes or so someone knocked on my door and I opened the door to find a lady somehow familiar to me; naturally, she was Fiona.


I let Fiona in and served her a cup of hot tea as well as making a cup for myself.


Fiona started talking as if a jukebox while I had a sip of the hot tea:


I am still single and living with my mom. I always see the shadow of a man appear beside me and at times, a voice telling me that how it admires me and wanted to marry me… Strangely my mom didn’t see or hear anything unusual.


Naturally as an artist, I couldn’t announce this strange phenomenon to my colleagues so my first reaction was to consult a psychiatrist friend and the good doc didn’t find anything abnormal with me physically and mentally.


I have kept this secret for years as I am afraid that people would think I wanted free publicities and on the other hand, I hate to make my old mom scared…


Frankly, I am helpless deep inside me until a week ago I met Lee who can see ghosts. Lee suddenly called me from behind and as I halted and turned my head, he said to me:


“Fiona, you have an invisible admirer! Hahaha…”


I felt strange and kept turning my head left and right, to find out the ‘invisible admirer’…

“You certainly won’t see him as he is ‘invisible’…” Lee continued and veered at me in a queer manner.


“Be serious! I already have goose bumps all over my body…”


“He is certainly not human for sure… perhaps I should rephrase it to a Casanova spirit as it is more precise… Hahaha…” Lee continued to burst into laughter.


 “You don’t just scared me… teach me what to do!” I was a little agitated by Lee’s seemingly remarks.


“You can ‘marry’ with the Casanova if you like… Hahaha…” There was another annoying laughter from Lee.


“No worries, you just contact this number and tell Mr. Liew that I gave you the number and he will teach you how…”


So, here I want to ‘marry’ a spirit and you will be the match maker!


I ponder for a while and said there is indeed a way:


“First, purchase two paper manikins, a paper car, and house complete with appliances and maids. Not forgetting some amount of hell notes and joss papers. Also prepare some food offerings and go to a temple nearby to ask the god/goddess as a witness. After that just burn the paper artwork and your problems will be over in a jiffy!”


Fiona followed my instructions faithfully and two weeks later she sent me a red packet with a note:


“Thank you. The shadow troubles me no more and I can live peacefully from now onwards.”


I supposed if you have the same problem as Fiona, just try the above method and your troubles would be gone too I believed.


No comments:

Post a Comment