Meeting The Loudmouth Master (幸会大口师父)

My life normally becomes abnormal between the Chinese New Year and Qingming (清明) period. Normally I only wake up at 10am but during this period I had to wake up at 6am because of my appointments. Normally speaking, other masters drag their customers to the graves but my customers drag me to the graves instead.

A few days ago, I had to wake up at 6am and drove for 2 hours to Ipoh to meet a customer at 8am. There I was in Ipoh town center half an hour earlier so I decided to have my breakfast in a famous ‘dimsum’ (点心) restaurant with my friends while waiting for the person to come.

After having some foods, the person I was waiting still not in sight but I saw Master Lee’s Mercedes Benz passed by. I was hoping that he didn’t see me… but alas! My luck was not my side as he somehow got a glimpse of me amidst nearly one hundred of people.

As usual we started the conversation:

Lee: “Ah! It is a surprise to see you here at this hour, Master Liew. What blew you to this place?”

Me: “Oh! It is you, Master Lee…”

Lee: “May I sit down?”

(Master Lee didn’t wait until I responded and he pulled a chair and sat beside me.)

Me: “I am waiting for someone but you are welcome.”

(So Master Lee ordered some dishes and while waiting he started to open his mouth…)

Lee: “Do you know what the ‘5’ in Feng Shui is?”

Me: “No idea! Not in this wee hours.”

Lee: “How come you don’t know… they are the dragon, water, arms, back and front!”

Me: “Oh… you are talking about the ‘yin’ Feng Shui…”

Lee: “No wonder you don’t know… you are studying the nonsense Flying Star system! The Flying Star is a fake!”

Me: “Oh… I just learnt what was taught by my master…”

Lee: “I supposed you don’t know the 8 yellow spring sha (八路黄泉煞)?”

Me: “Beats me my friend!”

(I could only shake my head and took a sip of tea. At this point, Master Lee's food came and he start eating. At least I had a moment of quiet I thought... But after eating he stood up and making gesture to leave…)

Lee: “I got to go!”

(At this point, I pulled Master Lee’s sleeve.)

Me: “Hey! Master Lee! Don’t you know that you need to pay after eating!?”

Lee: “…” 

The Work Of An Ignorant Master (庸师害人)

Problematic location and timing bring problematic matters.

This is a picture of a grave built in the 70's that I have audited. The location was selected by a so-called Feng Shui master to be good and auspicious. I was called in for inspection because within a family: 1 person suffered cancer, 1 person suffered from heart problem, 1 person is sick and 2 persons died from cancer.

Another Feng Shui master was also with me when I performed the audit and this person said the Feng Shui of the grave is still good but I just kept silent because there is not much we can do for this grave Because:

1. The location of the grave is at the top of a slope back by a valley. This has constituted to 'valley wind' (凹风吹煞). In this case the bones might have already become darkened theoretically.
2. The direction is facing with flying star 5 indicating the descendent of the deceased will suffer from serious illnesses. Both 6's are in front indicating money should not be a problem but the health is of concerns. However the condition has not been too bad because 5-6 neutralises each other.

Problems:

1. This grave is about 40 years old so cracks developed on the structure. So happened that the cracks are at the back and both sides. Coincidentally that indicates the locations of those who has passed away.
2. In 2016 the 3-kills are in the front, no major works can be done on this grave or more casualty will come unless it is remedied with the location of the sun or moon (太阳太阴到山向).

My remedy:

1. Perform the patch up work during Qingming (清明) period when the sun is at the back of the grave. That will solve the problem for now. But for long run, the grave need to be shifted for good.

Other master's suggestion:

1. Spend $40k to renovate the grave. (Of course that will kill one more person faster if he knows what he is doing).

So, the best thing is to learn up the art of Feng Shui so as to grasp your own fate in your own hands; and not just any masters out there.

How A Lady Is Conned (五术厚黑学)

To be honest, I can never make money out of Feng Shui because I don’t like to use psychological techniques to make people especially the ladies to fall into their own traps.

Today, I had a rare opportunity to attend a Feng Shui audit by a so-called renowned 70 year old Feng Shui master in Ipoh.  Below is a greatly abridged section of conversations between the lady owner and Master Lee (Pardon me but the Feng Shui audit started from 9am to 1pm!):

Master: “Well… the house is not that bad but a little dark…”

Lady: “Hmm… you mean there are spooks?”

Master: “You got it right!”

Lady: “Oh no! I am afraid of ghosts! But I don’t want to sell the new house…”

Master: “NO WORRIES! You can buy my gadget starting from $368.”

(Summary: Most ladies are afraid of ghosts! This is one way to fish their money.)

Master: “It is not good… the ‘sha’ (煞气) is too lethal in your bedroom…”

Lady: “You mean I could DIE!?”

Master: “No worries… you can buy my special edition talisman…”

Lady: “No problem! As long I can see tomorrow!”

Master: “It will be another $3,680. Thank you!”

(Summary: Most ladies are afraid of dying!)

Master: “Hmm… my reading shows that your hubby might have an affair…”

Lady: “Oh my God! How can I get rid of the other party?”

Master: “Hmm… you will need to move the toilet to the front and the kitchen to the back…”

Lady: “Anything!”

Master: “That will be another $36,800. Thank you for your business!”

(Summary: Most ladies are afraid of hubby getting an affair!)

So it is good Mr. Liew’s advice to check your Feng Shui master’s logic before your emotion gets too high that could eventually hurt your wallet! Of course, that applies to Astrological reading, mediums, tarot and the like!

In case you have wondered... the lady was not conned because good old Mr. Liew was there and the family took Mr. Liew's advice and saved a bundle!! 

The 11th Diver (第十一个)

I just returned from Langkawi and met a diving instructor on the returning ferry. I am too old to try underwater diving but somehow we stroked a conversation since it was quite boring then. He told me his strange experience.

Normal diving activity is performed during daytime. However, there is another type of night diving activity specifically for advance divers only. Night diving is exciting but it is also more dangerous for novice divers.

It was just normal night, dive instructor Jason led a team of 10 experienced divers diving just off north coastal area. As usual Jason asked team members to take a role count: “1, 2, 3… and 10”. After satisfied nothing is wrong, they went into the water.

The sea was not very rough that night. After a round of underwater activity, Jason again asked all members to congregate before return to surface: “1, 2, 3… and 11”. Well, the number isn't right murmured Jason. He counted again: “1, 2, 3… and 11”! Indeed his counting was correct; there were altogether 11 figures in front of him.

In order to find out whom the 11^th person was, Jason used his head light to check the participants one by one… and his gaze fixed on a figure at the far back of the 10^th participant. So, Jason approached the figure and as he swam closer his head light shone into the participant’s diving mask and… he instinctively fall backwards. There he saw in the diving mask was half decay face with hollow eye sockets!

At this point, Jason quickly calmed his mind and signalled his team members to return to surface. After Jason made sure everyone is on board, he hurried the ship skipper to return home in the hope to lose the creature by all means.

After hearing Jason’s story I smiled and told him that he had perhaps met with the soul of a drowned diver in that part of the sea. Normally, a drowned soul is called a ‘water ghost’ and this type of ghost has nowhere to go but to wander on the high sea until some able person summoned this poor soul for deliverance ritual.

In old days, if a person is drowned at sea, his/her relatives would throw a watermelon into the sea and call his name. It is believed that this will lead the dead soul to whoever summoned it.

Fishermen will tell you this story:

On a full moon night and when the sea is calm, you would see a figure sitting at the bow of the ship alone quietly. You should not disturb it for it is only a drowned soul who just wanted a rest. After that it will go back to the sea in peace.

Normally if a ghostly figure is seen at night, chances are that the fishermen would find a floating body in that part of the sea the next morning. It is a norm to drag the dead body back to harbor and call it a day. Otherwise there would be many problems if a fisherman ignores this dead body. For the dead soul will make every effort to chase away the fishes and the fisherman will return empty handed anyway.

  

Uses Of Corpse Face Cover (死人盖面纸)

This is the master template for Luban cult practitioner. Without this template, the person is not a qualified Luban disciple.

The rituals I am about to discuss here belong to Luban (鲁班) system and not many people have heard of it. These rituals make use of corpses’ face cover paper to call upon the souls of the dying or the death.

If you have got a chance, then do collect some corpse face cover papers from the death; both male and female for later use.

Ritual 1: Calling the soul of dying sick

When a person is sick and dying, if he/she is unconscious and a Luban sorcerer wish to summon his/her soul, then he/she can do the following:

First draw 5 figures of male/female on a piece of corpse face cover paper pending on the gender of the dying person together with a talisman. After that, the sorcerer shall move the patient to the living room and ash is used to draw a circle encircling the patient leaving the east side open.

Now the sorcerer shall put a piece of old roof tile in the center of the circle and light a piece of white candle at the opening of the circle. He/she shall then burn the talisman he/she drew beforehand at the eastern opening.

Following that, the sorcerer shall recite incantation and call upon the name of the dying person. If the ritual is done correctly, the soul of the dying shall materialize in the circle and the sorcerer can ask any questions he/she so wish desires.

Ritual 2: Calling the soul of deceased

On the other hand, if a person is already dead without leaving any final words; there is a way to compel this dead soul.

Again, a sorcerer will use a piece of corpse face cover paper and a figure of man/woman is drawn according to the gender of the deceased. Same as above ritual, a circle is drawn with ash with an opening at the east side.

After that a white candle is lit at the opening of the circle. The sorcerer shall now burn the corpse face cover paper while calling the decease’s name. After a while, the dead soul shall appear inside the circle speaking out what he/she has no chance to talk about.

At this point, the sorcerer can make food offerings to the dead soul and then deliver it to the other side after the spirit has said what it wanted to.

It is not a good idea to detain the ghost for a prolonged period.

Ceremonial Vs Functional Taoism Today (科仪道士与术士)

Many enthusiastic friends sent me literature on Taoist magic compiled by westerners but I only flipped over a few pages and set them aside because those are literary ‘literature research’ on Taoist rituals in every sense. In fact, many of those materials are fragmented and obsolete today unfortunately. Perhaps it is worthwhile to write something about Taoist rituals in general just to demystify the bizarre topic of Taoism.

A western friend came to me and said that he went to China to learn about Taoist magic. So I asked him:

“What did they teach you?”

He answered:

“Oh. They taught me to chant, meditate, carrying out rituals etc…”

Then I said:

“Then you are only a Taoist by tourism!”

Basically in all streams of Taoist schools, there are two types of Taoists: the ceremonial and functional.

A ceremonial Taoist is a Taoist who performs predefined ceremonial rituals on ceremonial dramas on specific occasions: festivals, blessings, funerals, blessing of statues/temples etc. Ceremonial Taoists normally work in a group and the ceremonial rituals are complex. A ritual may take somewhere between 1 day to 9 days now days; it used to be much longer in old time. Traditionally, ceremonial Taoists had royal patronage hence explaining the need for complex and expensive rituals… You just have to act something to satisfy the emperor or lose your head in those days.

Ceremonial Taoists today perhaps only limited to blessing ceremonies and funeral services; in a smaller scale and declining state even in the stronghold of Taoism, Taiwan.

On the other hand, I would define a functional Taoist as a ‘sorcerer’ because unlike a ceremonial Taoist, a sorcerer works with functional rituals to compel spirits to work on his/her desires. An artisan or Feng Shui master would follow the Luban (鲁班) sect, a hunter would follow the Meishan (梅山) sect and a raft worker or fisherman would practise Paijiao (排教) etc.

Many functional Taoist sects have various specialities. For example: A Maoshan (茅山) sorcerer would be best with his/her ghost magic, a Luban sorcerer would be very good in magic concerning buildings and Meishan ones would be good in dealing with hunting magic.

Functional Taoist rituals are mainly short and simple. Many times only the sorcerer alone is required to perform the ritual. And it is best that the sorcerer alone who performs the magic as some of those rituals involve cursing someone in a community.

Since ceremonies normally bring more cash to a Taoist, functional Taoists also involve in ceremonial magic rituals. Likewise, ceremonial Taoists practise functional magic rituals to serve their community in normal days.

Perhaps I can safely say that most of Taoists we can find out there openly belong to ceremonial type as functional Taoists are practically extinct except in rural and isolated place in China and Vietnam.

Coming back to Taoist literature, I have yet to find a good description of Taoist magic in the West at this time.

The Taoist Sword Mudra (道家开剑诀)

This is one of the Lushan (闾山) way to charge Taoist sword mudra but you must have the permission first.

The Taoist sword mudra (TS) is very different from the sword mudra of Hindu and Buddhist tantric systems. Taoist sword mudra is used to command and punish disobedient spirits. However, TS mudra must be charged according to certain steps before it can be used effectively. Of course, this remains as Taoist secret until today.

Basically Taoists are not afraid of ghosts as they have many methods to ‘treat/kill’ ghosts but Taoist magic may have some problems when facing demonic spirits of higher order. Thus, ghosts should not be killed without proper reasons.

Traditionally, killing ghosts is the final resort. A ghost should be warned two times before being destroyed. If a ghost makes troubles, then it should be warned and then let go. But if this ghost persisted, then mild magic ritual is used to exorcise this disobedient spirit. It is only on the third time that a Taoist resort to use more severe punishment on this ghost.

I once had late a Taoist brother from Taiwan who was fond of using sword mudra to treat victims possessed by spirits:

A young girl was possessed by a wandering spirit while she was cycling during lunar 7^th month. She was brought to a doc but the doc could not help the poor girl. When this girl was then brought to my Taoist bro, she was already unconscious and her mother had to carry the girl into the temple.

Surprisingly speaking, when my bro asked the girl to sit upright in a chair, she did what was told. Without speaking too much, my Taoist bro suddenly empowered his sword mudra and pointed towards the girl; she at once dropped onto the floor and fainted.

The assistants propped up the girl and gave her a cup of tea and she recovered miraculously. That was just one of many examples.

Sadly speaking, one day my Taoist bro suddenly said to his wife:

“It is my time!”

And he dropped onto the floor. He was pronounced dead on arrival to local district hospital.

Other Taoist seniors thus warned all that no ghosts should be harmed simply without any reasons.

Believe it or not, I have this ritual to charge sword mudra to share!

Unidentified Floating Object (飘飘)

And no, I don’t mean ‘unidentified flying object’ in this sense. The ‘object’ I meant here is those legless manlike things that float about 3 to 4 feet above the ground. Those Malaysian folks who stay in rural areas would be most familiar with them. They are seen in the wilderness, corner of a road, in a graveyard; you just name it.

Some people say that these UFOs ride on the earth’s chi (地气) and they could never touch the ground. Yet people classify them according to their colors: white, green, red and black. The white color ones are the most harmless and the red one is the most vengeful and difficult to deal with. Another better known companion to this UFO is the orbs.

I have heard many stories about these UFOs, this one is told by a Malay friend, Abu whose wife, Minah works as a payroll clerk in a oil palm plantation in Batu Gajah, near Kelly’s Castle. In old time, the payroll’s job is normally pretty heavy before pay’s day as there weren’t anything like direct fund transfer facilities. So, the clerk has to go to the bank to withdraw a large sum of money and all workers are paid in cash.

As the story goes, it was the beginning of the month again; Minah had to work until fairly late at night. So Abu was asked to fetch his wife after work as there were practically no public transportation of any sort now or then after dark. And his restless young daughter wanted to follow as well so Abu brought her along.

It was after 9pm when Abu arrived at the administrative building of the oil palm plantation. Just before Minah would go into the car, the little girl wanted to pee. So Minah brought her daughter into the building toilet to relieve leaving Abu alone in the car.

When Minah and her daughter were in the toilet, the girl suddenly pointed her little finger towards a piece of mirror and asked:

“Mummy, why is it that there is a lady floating in the mirror?”

On hearing those words, Minah scolded her daughter for talking nonsense. So, she let her daughter go on doing her business and return to Abu’s car.

As soon as the mother and daughter, exit the building; they saw Abu driving his vehicle turning round and round frantically as if being chased by something. Luckily after a few more rounds, the car stopped.

Before Minah could ask Abu what was the matter with him, Abu hurriedly asked them to come into the car. As soon as Minah and her daughter were in, Abu stepped onto the gas and sped off.

Abu kept silent until the car entered into the main road. According to Abu as he was waiting patiently in the car for them to return, he suddenly saw a longhaired lady was sitting on the railing at second floor. The lady was staring at the sky and suddenly she dropped her head and saw Abu in the car.

Without much hesitation, the ‘lady’ gently glided toward Abu’s car from second floor railing. At this point, Abu suddenly realized that the ‘lady’ is not human, so he stepped at the gas paddle trying to lose the creature. Since, his wife and daughter was still in the building, Abu dared not leave the compound, so he could only making figure of 8 turnings.

I was a little doubtful if Abu did wriggle off this UFO. Perhaps it had already rested on Abu’s car listening to the horrible experience told by Abu to his wife?

The Conjuration Of Clam & Mussel Fairy (蛤蚌仙子)

This is my pair of cat's eye shell fed with rice and Jasmine tea leaves.

This is the yant used to give power to the fairy.

An artist impression of clam & mussel fairy (蛤蚌仙子).

This ritual is a Vietnamese ritual known as ‘Cau Nguyen To’ or otherwise ‘the clam and mussel fairy’. The main ingredient is a pair of cat’s eye shells that must be obtained by putting some cat’s eye shells into vinegar on full moon night; whichever pair shells that touches each other is deemed as ‘a pair’.

Once a pair of cat’s eye shells is obtained, they must be kept inside a small container together with some rice grains and Jasmine tea leaves. This container should be put on an altar and flower, water and incense should be offered to the clam and mussel fairy daily.

In addition, a talisman is burnt twice monthly to enhance the power of these cat’s eye shells. Now the ritual proper:

First prayer to supreme god and lineage:

Namo vo cuc, namo thai cuc, namo luong nghi, namo tu tuong,

Namo bat quai cang kham can chan ton ly khon doai,

Namo that thap nhi dien kim moc thuy hoa thovan chuyen

Namo ngoc hoang daide vo cuc thien ton

Namo dieu tri kim mau vo cuc thien ton

Namo tay Phuong phat to thich ca nhu lai

Namo to su chuan de bo tat

Namo phat me qan am bo tat

Namo hiep thien dai de quan thanh de quan

Namo chu tien chu thanh chu than thuong trung ha coi ho do cho de tu ten… tuoi… cau tam vi thanh to, thai thuong lao quan, thai at chan nhan, hien vi dai de ho do cho de tu

Namo a did a phat (3x)

Now take 3 bows.

Then say:

(So-and-so, age) beg tren tam vi thanh to thai thuong lao quan, thai at chan nhan, hien vi dai de chuyen than thong, quai linh, sac lenh, chuyen dao mau, chuyen phep linh cap ky cho de tut ho phep.

Now add the daily khata:

Ngu luc tri hom tri hon chinh via nyen uong thieng linh, chuyen phep linh thring yeu chang nang, than thong sac giang, dong lai tro nga cau laic au lai, y li me, a li me, a mac, a mac, a cap cap, a mac mac.

Add the below khata to bless someone:

Uyen uong thieng linh co doi co ban:

Ho chang ho… ten… tuoi… (man name, age)

Ho nang ho… ten… tuoi… (woman name, age)

Cau laic au lai, ylime, a li me, a mac, a mac, a cap, a cap, a mac mac.

Proponents believe that the power of this fairy can aid in love and good business.

The Birthday Of Heavenly Pa (天公诞)

The Origin:

The origin of the worship of heavenly pa is closely related to the history of the intrusion of Japanese ronin (浪人) against Chinese coastal provinces during Ming and Ching Dynasties (after 1500 AD).

At the end of one particular year, the ronin invaded Fujian (福建), other than those soldiers and civil defense forces that fight against the invading ronins; all villagers old and young ran into sugarcane field for refuge. They hid from the 1^st day until the 9^th day. When the military had finally defeated the ronins, everyone was allowed home to celebrate New Year.

In the remembrance of this survival history, the Fujian folks treated the 9^th day of Lunar New Year as the ‘birthday of heavenly pa’ (天公诞) in the appreciation of protection bestowed by this heavenly pa.

Thus, during this day, sumptuous offerings of foods are prepared to worship the heavenly pa. A pair of sugarcanes is a must signifying the gratitude of protection bestowed by those sugarcanes.

In fact, there is a local saying that goes:

天公大过年

The heavenly pa birthday is more important than the New Year.

A typical Malaysian style of worship session:

Before 12 midnight all food stuffs offerings are set. And right on 12, incense and candles are lit and auspicious prayers recited.

A pair of sugarcanes with heavenly money (天公钱) is secured on both sides of main gate.

The heavenly pa's uniform (天公衣).

The heavenly pa's seat (天公座)

Finally, after obtaining permission; the items are burnt signifying the heavenly pa has received all.

Finally, firework display sealed the celebration.

This Is How He Lost His New Girl (女友与老人)

My friend Mark took over an old pre-war mansion in Kuala Kangsar from his father and the reason he lost his new found girl friends also because of the mansion.

Some time ago, when Mark and his parents were still staying in the old mansion. One day he decided to bring his newly acquainted girl friend, Lisa to meet his parents. A dinner session was arranged and Mark’s mom prepared a lot of dishes to welcome the lady visitor.

All went well except that Mark thought his to-be girl friend acted strangely. The only point one could pick was that the lady visitor seems to be ‘attracted’ to certain object in the mansion. She would fix her stare at a corner, and at times; she would smile at thin air as if greeting someone.

After the dinner, perhaps the lady guest had asked something she shouldn’t:

“I know it is none of my business. Why is it that you have introduced everyone in the house except one old grandpa?”

Mark replied bewilderedly:

“What grand pa? The only old pa is my father who sat opposite you during the dinner!”

The lady immediately responded:

“Oh! I don’t mean your pa… But the old grandpa I meant was the one who was sitting beside me listening quietly to our conversations. No one served him any food and he just sat lonely beside the table…”

There was a silence from Mark as he tried to relate to a particular figure according the narrations of his would be girlfriend. Suddenly, the lady shouted in excitement and pointed her finger towards an old picture on the wall:

“Ah! This is the old pa I meant!!”

Again there was a long silent from Mark. Then his mother broke the silence and said:

“Oh! That was Mark’s late grandpa who died 10 years ago…”

After that, the lady never returned to the mansion.

The Girl Who Continues To Jump Down (跳楼女)

There was a spree of people falling to their death last year in Penang alone. There are many reasons why people wanted to jump down from a tall building:

·         They are jilted by their lovers

·         They are afraid of bad examination results

·         They are not themselves after consuming drugs

·         They are in great debt

·         They suffer from serious mental depression

·         …

Many people thought by jumping down the building, they can have a smooth death and a final rest in peace. However, in a Taoist’s stand point, both views are not true. As the theory goes:

“If a person committed suicide by jumping from height, his/her soul will not rest in peace and that his//her soul will continue his/her suicide action repeatedly until his/her actual lifespan is over.”

I am not sure how far the above theory is true, but I have the below story to share:

The incident happened in a high rise condo building at Yeap Chor Ee Road. A girl due to some reasons jumped down from her 50^th floor balcony and fell to her death a few years ago. Unfortunately speaking, she didn’t have a smooth death because her falling body collided with window edges, balcony railings and air-conditioning units underneath her apartment. That is to say that ‘there is a piece of her on every floor’. The unfortunate lady finally fell onto the roof of a car porch.

Needless to say that the suicide scene was pretty bloody and her blood and meat pieces tainted almost everyone under her apartment. My friend, Peter was one of the few ‘lucky’ ones. The poor girl’s head collided with the edge of his air-conditioning unit and her blood and brain juice even splashed into Peter’s bedroom. All in all, it was a pretty messy scene.

Since the incident, Peter thought he always saw the silhouette of a person fell from aloft through his bedroom window.  In addition, many tenants of the condo claim to have seen the silhouette of a girl lingers on the concrete car porch where her body lied lifelessly.

The most horrible incident Peter had was that as he was preparing his staffs’ yearly performance review, a shadow suddenly appeared at Peter’s bedroom window. This is exactly where the poor girl’s brain hit the air-conditioning unit.

As recalled by Peter later, it was the bloody face of a young girl who similed and waved her hand at him possibly gesturing Peter to jump from his window too. Peter immediately threw his pen that he was holding towards the figure and jumped into his bed; and covered his head with a piece of blanket.

Since the bloody encounter, Peter dare not open his bedroom window until he sold off his unit and moved elsewhere.

It is said the poor soul still haunts that particular condo. Perhaps she will continue her action for many years to come. This is a grim reminder for those who are thinking of committing suicide because ‘you never die once!’.

What Is That Thing Behind You? (背后的东东)

Nurses, for your own good, put on your hat please!

A nurse’s cap just like a police officer’s hat is believed to contain power to ward off spirits. People believe these items possess ‘royal aura’ (皇气) and it is precisely this ‘royal aura’ that the spirits are scared of. So, theoretically if a nurse keeps her hat during her duties, then there is absolutely no possibility for her to be possessed…

However, at times a nurse may have forgotten her hat especially during her night duties. As usual, life is always a little slack at night compared to day time and many nurses would prefer not to wear the nurse’s hat for convenience and Fiona is just one of those ladies.

That night was just as any other night and it was just passed midnight and Fiona was sitting at the nurse’s counter alone. There was practically nothing to do so she plugged off her nurse’s hat and leaned face down to get a short nap. After a while, Fiona felt that the environment was excessively chilling and cold breeze continued to blow at her right ear.

Reluctantly she opened her eyes and turned her head towards the direction of the breeze. She thought it was Dr Tan playing pranks on her. Well, this is not the first time the doc done such a trick on nurses taking naps. But there was not a single soul and the good doc was not in site.

Fiona looked at her watch and it was approaching 2 am, it was time for her to make her rounds. So she walked into Ward 3B. As Fiona was about to walk into the ward, one of her patient, Aunty Lim suddenly called Fiona:

“Who is the person in white following at your back, missy?”

Fiona stunned for a second and said:

“It is probably Ah Pek who likes to play pranks on people.”

“Oh I see…” Aunty Lim nodded and continued with her slumber.

After exiting Ward 3B, Fiona went into Ward 3C. As soon as her left foot just stepped over the brim of 3C entrance, the voice of Ah Pek was heard from his sickbed:

“Who are you bringing with you at your back, missy?”

Fiona said impatiently:

“Don’t talk nonsense! Who can I bring in the dead of the night?”

Ah Pek said:

“I saw there are two white shadows at your back!”

Fiona replied:

“They are just patients who returned from toilet!”

So Fiona completed her round after coming out from Ward 3G. As she walking towards the nurse’s station; Dr Tan was at her back and he shouted:

“Hey, Fiona! Who are those patients you bring into your ward!?”

Fiona turned her back, screamed out loud and fainted. At this point, the good doc said: “Hmm… I didn’t know that I was that ugly?”

Later, Fiona visited me and she said that she saw a group of people with very pale faces attached to her back when she turned her head. So I told her:

“Had you kept your nurse’s hat, you would have seen what you shouldn’t!” 

Special Sates For Sepcial You (特制的沙嗲)

Delicious sates... but beware of their contents or eat them warm!

This story was famous many years ago right after the completion of the Gerik-Jeli Highway in early 80’s. The incident said to occur on a section of road exiting the highway heading to Jeli town, Kelantan.

Not long after the opening of the highway, someone setup a small stall selling sates. This stall only operates after dark and it was quite famous of that time as the sates sold were big, fat and juicy. Most of all, the sates were quite cheap for that time. So not long after the opening, it has attracted many customers far and near.

There is a set of strange rules by the stall owner however. I.e. anyone who wished to enjoy his cheap sates must consume the sates in situ and while the sates were still hot. Well, no one really objected to the rules since most of the customers were travelers and they have no intention to take away those sates too.

Having said that, one of the customers, Rizal had ordered a little too many sates at one time and he figured that it was a waste to discard those unconsumed sates on the table; furthermore he has paid for the sates. So, Rizal quietly tugged some sates inside a food container to bring back with him to enjoy later. After Rizal reached home, he put the sates in his fridge just to preserve them for further consumption since it was quite late and all his family members were sleeping.

The next morning, Rizal asked his wife, Rose to retrieve the sates from the fridge and to warm them up. As soon as Rose retrieved the food container and opened the cover, she shouted in fright and the container dropped onto the floor along with its contents.

Well, everyone rushed to Rose and only found dead frogs, worms and small snakes scattered onto the floor. At the same time, Rizal felt stomach ache and vomited out some stingy yellowish water and animal remains…

Consequently the duo was sent to the district hospital for treatment. The doc once suspected Rizal was being forced to consume those filthy stuffs for some reasons but no amount of explanations could make the doc believe it was just the ‘sates’...

After Rizal and Rose were finally being discharged from the hospital, they returned to the stall daytime but to find no traces of stall being built. The only thing they could find was an old grave located about 10 feet away.

No one sees the stall again at night since the incident. Perhaps the stall owner has discovered that someone has broken the taboo by taking away the sates? Or perhaps he has moved to elsewhere to continue his ‘business’…

So, just a word of caution when you consume those delicious sates…

Reflection In The Mirror (镜中的影像)

Personally speaking, I don’t like mirrors because mirrors can reflect not only my oversized body but also things on the other sides. Some occultists say that mirrors are in fact doors to the spiritual realms. Also, in Feng Shui perspective, if a house has too many mirrors; then Yin energy would congregate and hence spirits too would come.

It is a fact that you don’t really need psychic eyes to see spirits in a room. What you need to do is to use a small mirror to scan around the four corners of the room. If you notice a flash of white shadow or light in the mirror, then chances are that there is a presence together with you. This exercise is best to be carried out during dawn or dusk when the room is neither too bright nor too dim.

Now the story I am about to tell you is a little scary and definitely not for the faint hearted for it implies the presence of evil entity. Most of my stories do not end with loosing life; but this one is just one of those out liars.

My friend, Mary’s mother just hung herself recently. She had a history of serious mental depression so Mary paid very much attention to her mom because mental depression sufferers would make things that would be out of our normal imaginations to hurt themselves. And Mary’s mom was just one of those more serious ones.

The story begins when Mary accidentally saw the reflection of a rope dangling from a beam from her late mom’s make up mirror. At first she thought her mom was to commit suicide so she rushed into her mom’s bedroom but there was no one there. Mary subsequently attributed the image was her hallucination and soon forgot about it.

A few weeks later, Mary saw her mom playing with a piece of rope in her bedroom and occasionally her mom would make a loop and put her head into the loop. On enquiry, her mom said that she was just fooling around and that she would not commit suicide for no reason.

Of course Mary didn’t buy the idea, so she hid all available ropes in her house and asked her maid to pay particular attention of her mom. Having all those precautions could not prevent mishaps from happening however.

One night, Mary’s mom somehow managed to get hold of a piece of rope and hang herself in the center of her bedroom. Her body was discovered by Mary’s maid in the morning. By then it was already too late to save the old lady’s life.

Parking onto the same issue, I had an old makeup table with a large mirror attached in my first house in Taiping. At times, I could see the reflection of a young lady combing her long hair and at times I could see her naked reflections in the bathroom from the mirror. Strangely speaking, those reflections never appear twice. Meaning I could only caught a glance of the reflection, and when I looked for a second time; there was nothing in the mirror.

Many years later, I was told that the former tenant of the room was a young social escort who had committed suicide after being jilted by her boyfriend. Anyway, I cannot be sure if the lady in the mirror was her restless soul then. Of course at that time I haven’t involved in magic as yet. So please take my word that mirrors are evil, don’t approach it without any business. Stay away from mirrors after you have done your business. You are warned…

Joggers From The Other Side (幽灵跑步者)

People visit a graveyard for some reasons. I normally visit graveyards to perform conjuration rituals or to look for a piece of Feng Shui land for a customer. My pal, Dr Tan however, visits graveyards to jog. He said he likes the quietness and serenity of the cemeteries… well; no one would rise from the graves to bug him for sure. Then and again, the good doc might be wrong…

I met Dr Tan one evening at the center of Farlim cemetery when he was standing under a huge banyan tree. After giving the good doc a cautionary shout, I approached him and we begun to chat:

Me: “Hey doc, what are you out here in the cemetery at this hour?”

Dr: “Oh, I like the quietness of this place especially under this huge tree. It is exceptionally cool out here with occasional breeze…”

Me: “Well, take care doc. This place is not-so-clean if you understood what I meant.”

Dr: “Hahaha! You are too superstitious! I am going to jog around the cemetery. See ye…”

I shrugged and walked towards the hill top which is the highest point in the cemetery as I was supposed to audit the Feng Shui of an old tomb. Ah Kow the funeral service proprietor was already there. From that point, we can survey the periphery and the landscape of the area… and Dr Tan was jogging encircling the cemetery.

Ah Kow and I were at the old tomb for about an hour or so and it was getting dark. So we decided to return home as the cemetery has no lighting and it would be difficult to move about after dark due to old graves scattering about.

As we were walking towards the exit, Dr Tan jogged passed. We customarily shouted at him:

“Hey doc, it is getting dark. Go back and come and jog another day!”

At this point, the good doc yelled back:

“I wanted to stop. THEY don’t let me!”

On hearing the reply, we ran towards Dr Tan and saw though he kept his pace jogging; his body language indicated that the doc was somehow being ‘escorted’ to run along by some invisible force.

So I shouted to Dr Tan again:

“If you want to stop, raise your right hand!”

And the doc did raise his right hand. At this point, I knew ‘something’ has prevented the doc from stopping. So without hesitation, I wrote the word ‘雷’ (Thunder) on my left palm and hold fist.

As soon as Dr Tan ran passed me, I stormed my left foot and opened my fist towards Dr. Tan and said: “Go!”

At this juncture, the doc suddenly dropped onto the ground panting.

We quickly approached Dr Tan and before we could open our mouths, the doc said:

“I was jogging minding my own business suddenly a group of joggers ran along with me and they sandwiched me in the middle. When I wanted to stop, people behind me propped my arms and I had to run along until you came…”

Ah Kow and I shrugged and smiled:

“Hey doc, perhaps you were just overworked and suffered heatstroke. There is no such thing as GHOSTS!”

Dr Tan looked bewildered and he murmured:

“Yes. I do need a break…”