Monday, February 29, 2016

Meeting The Loudmouth Master (幸会大口师父)

My life normally becomes abnormal between the Chinese New Year and Qingming (清明) period. Normally I only wake up at 10am but during this period I had to wake up at 6am because of my appointments. Normally speaking, other masters drag their customers to the graves but my customers drag me to the graves instead.

A few days ago, I had to wake up at 6am and drove for 2 hours to Ipoh to meet a customer at 8am. There I was in Ipoh town center half an hour earlier so I decided to have my breakfast in a famous ‘dimsum’ (点心) restaurant with my friends while waiting for the person to come.

After having some foods, the person I was waiting still not in sight but I saw Master Lee’s Mercedes Benz passed by. I was hoping that he didn’t see me… but alas! My luck was not my side as he somehow got a glimpse of me amidst nearly one hundred of people.

As usual we started the conversation:

Lee: “Ah! It is a surprise to see you here at this hour, Master Liew. What blew you to this place?”

Me: “Oh! It is you, Master Lee…”

Lee: “May I sit down?”

(Master Lee didn’t wait until I responded and he pulled a chair and sat beside me.)

Me: “I am waiting for someone but you are welcome.”

(So Master Lee ordered some dishes and while waiting he started to open his mouth…)

Lee: “Do you know what the ‘5’ in Feng Shui is?”

Me: “No idea! Not in this wee hours.”

Lee: “How come you don’t know… they are the dragon, water, arms, back and front!”

Me: “Oh… you are talking about the ‘yin’ Feng Shui…”

Lee: “No wonder you don’t know… you are studying the nonsense Flying Star system! The Flying Star is a fake!”

Me: “Oh… I just learnt what was taught by my master…”

Lee: “I supposed you don’t know the 8 yellow spring sha (八路黄泉煞)?”

Me: “Beats me my friend!”

(I could only shake my head and took a sip of tea. At this point, Master Lee's food came and he start eating. At least I had a moment of quiet I thought... But after eating he stood up and making gesture to leave…)

Lee: “I got to go!”

(At this point, I pulled Master Lee’s sleeve.)

Me: “Hey! Master Lee! Don’t you know that you need to pay after eating!?”

Lee: “…” 

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