My pal, Albert liked to neutral dress and he used to do bar hopping in Kuala Lumpur at least three to four times weekly. This guy can stay in bars starting 9pm to 4am and when allowed, he would rather spend nights in bars and only to appear to work at 8am. I once asked if he has got enough rest, Albert shrugged and took out a can of beer from his drawer and said that is his energy enhancer. Of course, he was not allowed to drink during work.
One day Albert pulled me aside after weekly staff meeting. He said that he was harassed by a lustful gay ghost for 3 months and that he was at the brim of nervous breakdown. I jokingly said: "Hey, Albert! Wasn't that was what you were looking for? I though you like 2 in 1 or 3 in 1... The more the merrier?"
Albert pulled down a grim face and controlled his voice: "I am not joking! This ghost has disturbed me ever since I peed outside of a bar downtown about 3 months ago... At first it came into my dream and said that it was also a avid bar hopper who eventually succumbed to alcohol intoxication. Since then this ghost which identified itself as Roy started to fondle Albert in the dream until my pants got wet.
At first I thought it was just dreams but the dream harassment turned into hag ride and physical intrusion. The ghost of Roy would come whenever I was sleeping in my bed and it only left after 4am or so. That made me scared to return home and I rather stay in bars until morning.
Roy gradually started to interfere with my daily life and whoever gets near me would met with some kind of accidents. My pet dog was even being thrown out of my house one night when it was cuddling around me...
So, I need your help; or if you have anyone you can introduce with a REASONABLE fee?"
On hearing what Albert had to say, I laughed until I couldn't stand straight. After some considerations I told Albert: "You can bring me a few giant poster of scantily clad ladies to me and I will write something at the back of the posters. You only need to stick the posters around the walls of your house.
Also, you can borrow one of those big dogs such as doverman for a few days to stay with you. Make sure that it is a bitch!"
Albert gave disbelief glance and finally said: "I hope you are not pulling my legs... But I will try it anyway since it is FOC."
I slapped my right palm onto my chest and assured Albert that my method will work wonders. After that I went on for one week annual leave to visit my master in Chiang Mai.
Upon returning to office, Albert said that he will treat me lunch. During the lunch, he tugged $50 to me and said: "Your method worked! I followed your method and on the 4th day, I heard there was a long sighing sound followed by a loud curse. Then the half body of a young man materialize in front of me. It said:
"I thought you are gay same as me. You are in fact straight! I cannot bear to see those posters of nude girls and this big BITCH! I will leave you now! Remember, it is that I have jilted you and not the opposite!"
The doverman barked ferociously at the shadow and it dispersed either because of the big bitch or of 'broken heart'..."
I took the $50 note and jokingly said to Albert: "If you keep peeing on the street, you will find yourself into bigger trouble!"
A year later, I left the company.
Two years later, I heard Albert was walloped by another guy on the accusation of love betrayal. Perhaps that was the revenge of lustful ghost of Roy?
I am not interested to find out however.
