Monday, October 8, 2018

Pee 5: Widow's Ghost (小解 5:寡妇鬼)

A palakit man with erected 'u know what' hung in front of a house in Northeastern Thailand to ward off so-called the widow's ghost...

If you think ghosts in Malaysia are awful as they like to disturb those peeing gentlemen and kids, then you should be astonished by the treatments Thai men received from their spiritual world.

This is a story told to me by my Thai master from Chiang Mai which happened many years ago. The recent news of widow's ghost jogged out my memory so I will try to describe it as far as possible according to what I can remember:

A man by the name Aroon attended a relative's wedding ceremony and he had a little too much of alcohol so during his way back to his house, he suddenly felt an urge to pee. It is still customary for men to pee at roadside nowadays, so Aroon was no exception at that time too. He somehow chosen to pee at a wild banana plant nearest to him.

Then during the night, a lady in green came to Aroon and told him that she was a widow's ghost named Pakpao. Pakpao was angry at first at Aroon for peeing onto her but she would forget what Aroon has done if Aroon agree to accompany her every night.

Aroon agreed at first as Pakpao looked quite attractive and they mated for a few times until Aroon cannot cope with Pakpao's sexual demand and he wanted to break the contract.

One day Aroon visited my master and sought help to cast Pakpao away. Master agreed and he asked Aroon to pretend to sleep at night while he hid behind a wardrobe. The master has surrounded three sides of Aroon's bed with a piece of white magic string leaving one side open to let Pakpao in.

Pakpao appeared and moved into the bed as usual right after midnight just as she wanted to have fun, Aroon suddenly jumped out from his bed and tied the remainder of the magic string to the remaining end of the bed hence trapping Pakpao in the center of the bed.

This abrupt action has caused Pakpao to be extremely angry and she shrieked and yelled at Aroon for revenge. However, whatever Pakpao tried to do, she couldn't go past Master's protective boundaries.

At this point, the Master took out an earth urn and jumped into the bed to cup Pakpao from top down. As soon as this widow's ghost was contained in the urn, master immediately sealed it with a piece of cloth talisman.

My master later dug a hole in his garden to bury the urn with Pakpao inside for good. That was the temporary end of Pakpao but my story does not end here...

Three years later, Aroon again visited a friend downtown and he was also drunk. Since his house was just situated about 30 minutes walk from his friend's place, Aroon decided to walk home. He has walked the route many times so Aroon has no concerns even when he is drunk.

When Aroon was half-way reaching his house, he again felt the need to pee. So, as usual he pulled down his pants and peed by the roadside again. Then suddenly a mad dog jumped out from a shrub and bit off Aroon's penis...

A passerby chased the mad dog away with a stick but it was too late to save Aroon as the mad dog already had its 'snack' and disappeared into darkness. 

The unfortunate Aroon was sent home and he subsequently died of blood loss.

A few days after Aroon's death, people saw his ghost strolled along the street with a lady in green clothing. The couple seemed to be happy but local folks were sacred, so they held a blessing ceremony and invited monks to do chanting. Luckily nothing bad happened since then.

I asked my master how could the formidable widow's ghost Pakpao escape from his imprisonment. The master took a puff of tobacco and said: "You know, even a magician cannot imprison a ghost for too long. That is the reason why I used a piece of cloth to seal off the urn opening and not a ceramic cover..."

In another words, it is Aroon's bad karma, not the master's fault. What do you think?