Monday, June 1, 2015

Psychic Aunty… Psycho Aunty (与仙姑一席话)

A quite decent lady and a gentleman came to me and introduced herself as Ms Ho (何小姐) while I was having lunch. Ms Ho looks like the one working in Finance sector while the gentleman should be her hubby or boyfriend or something… Now that the contact is made, we had the below interesting conversations. I just had to share them while they are fresh in my mind:

Ho: “Are you the author of Magic SEA?”

Me: “Yup. What can I do for you?”

Ho: “I can see ghosts!”
(She lowered her voice and said.)

Me: “I am not surprised. But what can I do for you?”

Ho: “I can sense that you are a little agitated…”
(She closed her eyes and wondered into her own world)

Me: “Obviously I am… But what can I do for you really?”
(Feeling a little agitated but with some curiosity about the weird lady and her body guard who was a little quiet at the back…)

Ho: “You should recite the Great Compassionate Mantra…. It is very powerful… Today is the holy month of Lord Buddha… Guan Yim Ma shall come forth to save the world…”
(Now this Ms Ho has really gone into a trance like mode and start talking something that I thought sounded from outer space… Now it was the turn for the gentleman at the back to barge in.. We shall just call him Jo.)

Jo: “Ho, is speaking of ‘heavenly language’ (天语) … only spirits of higher level can understand this… By the way, she is the reincarnation of Guan Yin!”
(Jo gave me a scolding stare… Apparently I wasn’t that high level yet, so I just kept quiet…)

Ho: “$8950 is too expensive… There is a Datuk outside who want to come in…”
(At this point, Ms Ho started to stand up and perform some sort of dance and making various mudras seemingly inviting someone to come in… I could only stare with awe until an old nanny walked by with her granddaughter...)

Nanny: “Aiyo… Why are you talking to these two crazy people?”

Me: “What can I do Ah Mah?  Guan Yin Ma still dancing with Datuk Kong!”

Nanny: “You also crazy together with them already ah?”

Me: “How to stop this?”
(At this point, the nanny approached me, Ho and Jo.)

Nanny: “Guan Yin Ma and Guan Yin soldiers (观音兵), your horses are stolen by Guan Gong  (关公) already… Go quickly…”

(Almost as soon as the nanny said this, the lady in trance and the gentleman stood up and rushed towards the door…)

Ho: “Stop Gurn Gong! Or else I will ask my soldiers to chop down your head!”

Me: “Go Guan Gong go!”
(I shouted at their back while taking this opportunity to thank the nanny and to get my hell out from there!)

I later learnt that Ms Ho was a follower of deviant cult, she is not 100% ‘crazy’ but she could ‘switch mode’ and suddenly became Guan Yin Ma. Also that Ho is working in a reputable local bank… I just hope that nothing would happen to her customer’s financial data if Guan Yin Ma suddenly possesses her body someday… Only God knows.

The moral of this story: it is true that magic is not good for mental development! Hahaha…


  1. Dear Mr Liew !

    Well, after the dancing performance of the 2 guys, you should have said to them:

    "Ok, and now the "Beauty and the Beast" Duet !


    Just kidding !

    You seem to attract some very..."creative" people, hm ?

    Michael B.

    1. Dear Michael,

      Hmm... I was a little stunned by what the old nanny has done... and the duel responded so fast... before I can think of anything... they just WHOOP! Gone from my site... Hahaha...

      Yes. Those "creative" people though I am their kind... Perhaps I should just stop writing magic for good ;-)

      Anyway, I was just wearing shorts, sandals and singlets while still half awakened, with unshaven face and uncombed hairs... looks pretty much like a wacko... May be that too attracted them to think I am their kind ;-)

      Have a nice "magical" day!