Sunday, August 10, 2014

Conversations Of Two Ghosts (两鬼对话录)

I was in Penang International Airport departure lounge waiting for my flight to Jakarta to visit a friend on some herbal business. As it was still early, the boarding area was still closed so I just found myself a remote corner to shut my eyes.

Suddenly I saw two ghostly shadows in front of me but I pretended as if I didn’t know their presence. So both of the chatter ghosts started to talk:


“Hello my friend. Where are you from?”


“Hello. I am from Taiwan and heading for USA.”


“Why do you want to go to there may I ask?”


“Oh. We ghosts are very pitiful and very much mistreated. There is no ‘ghost rights’ and freedom as we ghosts are being ordered to do things that we do not want. For example: people wanted ghosts to bring them fortune and they constantly beg us to show ourselves in front of them but when we obliged, they panic and ask monks and Taoists to punish us…

There are many methods we ghosts can be treated: ghosts can be ‘eaten’ by Taoists and by big ghosts (吃鬼), ghosts can be whipped (鞭鬼), deep fried (炸鬼), slaughtered (杀,煞鬼), tugged/imprisoned (摄鬼), burnt () etc.

So, I have no choice but to travel to USA for a more peaceful and safer life there…”

(At this point, ghost A interrupted before ghost B can continue…)


“What? I want to stay in Taiwan because my pals said people offer good foods to us ghosts in Taiwan compared to USA. You know that when ghosts accidentally made some noises in a house, people will buy electronic gadgets such as cameras and voice recorders to capture our movements. There is totally no privacy for us ghosts at all.

Further, people don’t make food offerings to ghosts and there aren’t any yummy barbecued meat hanging on the street for ghosts to lick on… I had been licking on cold salad and vegetables for dog gone years! The only time I can have some energy replenishment is when the owner of the house having sex with his wife… and that was about 6 months once… I was starving…”

(There were a long silent and finally…)

A & B:


 I didn’t know what happened to the ghostly buddies but I think chances are that they both decided to return to where they will call ‘home’…


  1. Hi sir,
    With respect.

    U say,.." The only time I can have some energy replenishment is when the owner of the house having sex with his wife…"

    Does this mean, if the house has male ghosts, then the ghosts join in for threesome, foursome, or ten-some!!!???

    How to prevent this???
    Thanks in advance.

    1. Yes. In fact, people who like to visit social escorts will have 3-in-1, 4-in-1 or X-in-1 sexual pleasures...

      No worries for people who burns joss paper and incenses a lot. This can only happen in places where people don't make offerings to the spirits ;-)

      Otherwise the bedroom needs to be fumigated and ritual bath must be taken before and after the intimate act...