Monday, January 20, 2014

Astrology As Corporate Investigation Tool


Once there was a company director, Mr. Ang came to me for consultation. He told me that his company operated for 6 years and the business was good, low cost with high profit margin and no high expenses. By right, this sounded like a profitable business; if not, at least it would sound quite impossible to lose money to say the least.

 

The fact was that the company was in debt and near bankruptcy. While there are many reasons for a company operating in red: excessive stock, high interests, bad debts, high overheads, unauthorized use of money (by the boss), womanizing etc. If none of the above reasons come near, then the only reason will be corruptions amongst the employees. And the Finance and Purchasing Department personnel would naturally turned suspects.

 

After some rounds of discussions, the conclusion we made was: “to catch the culprit whoever this person is!”

 

How to begin? Mr. Ang treated all his employees as if his family members and it would be quite embarrassing to carry out a full fledge enquiry: money wise or expertise wise.

 

I asked Mr. Ang to give me an employee name list with date of birth and I will take it from there. After some calculations, evaluations and comparisons; I picked up two names amongst the list and advise Mr. Ang to take a look.

 

To Mr. Ang’s astonishment, those two names were company top performers, they are responsible, serious yet polite; they are Mr. Ang’s right hand man and woman. Mr. Ang were not taken in my analysis but I emphasized that these two are certainly no law abiding citizens, they like to back stab, while good in speech and having very strong character; all in all a total opposite to Mr. Ang’s impression of them.

 

The results are pretty clear to me as those guys were disguising themselves in the company. Nevertheless, Mr. Ang hired an auditor to carry out further investigations and indeed, both of them had taken Mr. Ang a total of $1.4 million worth of cash. The only thing the boss could do was to lodge a police report.

 

So, don’t be surprised when you find me sitting in your board room meeting next time. I am there for a very special purpose as requested by your boss J. Believe it or not, astrology can be used to do detective work as well. No shit!

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