Friday, November 25, 2016

Guanyimma Vs Brother Mark (观音妈斗风水师)

Guanyimma refers to ‘mother Avalokitesvara’ and she is a popular character within Hokkian folk religion. There are many temples in Malaysia and Singapore dedicated to Guanyimma specifically with many ‘tangki’ (mediums) serve as Guanyimma’s spokesmen and spokeswomen. Whenever the local people have some unsolved problems, they would first pay this Guanyimma a visit to get a reading and advise. Guanyimma’s scope of service ranges from spirit possession to lucky number predictions; and from curing illnesses to Feng Shui consultancy. You just name it and Guanyimma would be willing to help.

Brother Mark has nothing to do with Guanyimma. He is a half-cooked Feng Shui master cum astrologer lurking mainly in Penang. Whenever he has got problems, he would pay me a visit to get a second opinion. However, Brother Mark would always negate my Feng Shui advise for him. So, nowadays, I would just smile and decline to advise Brother Mark further. If you are around Penang for quite a while, you wouldn’t miss Brother Mark as he is quite a high profile Feng Shui master in the northern region.

Now, what has Bro Mark got to do with Guanyimma this time? Well, this has something to do with a Feng Shui audit Bro Mark performed a few months ago.

A businessman, Eric is a faithful Guanyimma follower and one day, he consulted Bro Mark about his late father’s grave Feng Shui. As usual, Bro Mark would say everything is good not according to Feng Shui theory; but according to the fact that Eric is a successful businessman. Naturally, Bro Mark’s comment caused Eric to have some doubt as he knew what he was experiencing; and the fact is that his business was in jeopardy due to cash flow problem. Further, both of Eric’s siblings were diagnosed with cancer and Eric himself wasn’t feeling very good too.

So, when Bro Mark very confidentially assured Eric that his late pa’s grave was okay, Eric wasn’t so confident at all. He needed a second opinion.

As usual, after Eric closed his shop around 9pm, he went to a Guanyimma temple he always patronise. The medium is his old acquaintance, so Eric told this ‘tangki’ friend that he has some doubt about his late pa’s grave. Although Guanyimma was not scheduled to provide service, the ‘tangki’ agreed to help.

So the ‘tangki’ sat in his ‘dragon throne’ and let Guanyimma to possess his body. After a while, Guanyimma came and she started to talk: “Oh dear, oh dear! Your dad’s coffin is already submerged in water and the old man is shivering. You must exhume your dad’s remain or very bad thing will happen soon!”

That really did it. Both Guanyimma and the Feng Shui master were not on agreement! Now Eric became more confused. And, Guanyimma told Eric: “You ask the Feng Shui master to come tomorrow night. We can have a bet with other witnesses around!”

So said, Eric dragged Bro Mark to Guanyimma’s temple the next night. Many people were already there waiting patiently for Guanyimma to serve them. Soon, it was the turn for Eric and Bro Mark. Both of the gentlemen approached the ‘tangki’ now turned Guanyimma. Guanyimma said to Bro Mark: “Hi, Feng Shui Mark! Do you want to bet with me?

“What kind of bet?” Bro Mark asked.

“Well, if what I said about the grave being submerged in water is correct; then you can chop my idol down and burn it in front of my temple. Otherwise, you must eat the remains of the tomb!”

Bro Mark didn’t think Guanyimma knows Geng Shui, so he immediately agreed the bet which was witnessed by about 20 folks then.

A date was selected by Eric to go to his old man’s grave to find out the truth. Eric, the ‘Guanyimma’, Bro Mark and a few gravediggers went to Eric old pa’s grave and the gravediggers started to dig out the grave. As soon as the top soils of the grave were removed exposing the coffin. The folks found that it was true that the coffin had submerged in a pool of water apparently for quite some time already; judging from the colour of the coffin.

While everyone was astonished with Guanyimma’s super accurate prediction, the good old Bro Mark has quietly made his retreat from the scene for he has no appetite for eating those rotten remains!

As far as I know, Bro Mark hid himself for a while and now starting to lurk around hunting for other unwary folks to hire him to do Feng Shui audit. I am sure you will know this character once you see him.

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