Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Getting Fortune From Toilet God

No shit! Can people really get fortunes from a toilet god?

Yes. You hear it right. The old Chinese believe in an ordinary household, there are many gods: the god of stove, god of bed corner, god of doors, god of toilet, god of the house etc. etc.

Well, frankly speaking, conjuring toilet god used to be my favourite pass time with all my friends when I visited my grand parents' place located inside a rubber plantation in Kuala Kangsar. Back then, the toilet wasn't that modern, so the toilet was just a big deep hole dug at the back of the house, covered with few pieces of zinc sheets. then two planks are placed parallel to serve as foot steps while answering nature's call. So if one wasn't careful, especially at a rainy night; one might actually fell into the shit hole so to speak.

Now let's return to the ritual proper...

This ritual is best to be performed at night, after 9pm.

Okay. For this ritual, first we will need a medium, a piece of long red string and some incnese and biscuits and sweets as food offerings.

Put one of the string into the toilet hole, while the other end tie onto the medium's ring finger. When this is done, start calling, "Toilet god, toilet god; please come tonight, we have a request ..."

After a while, the medium will fall into a trance. Now we can start asking for coming lucky 4D numbers or any other questions.

To end the ritual, burn some paper offering and chant, "Toilet god, toilet god; return to your place of origin."

Sprinkler some cold water onto the medium's face to wake the medium up.

Try it on your modern toilet, may be there is indeed a toilet god in your toilet.. Hahaha, wonder if you will be at ease while doing your business next time. ;-)

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